With the start of a new school year it is only timely that we start with a quiz. Which do you think is more difficult?

A) Being a teenager

B) Being a parent

C) Being a teenage parent

D) Being the parent of a teenage parent

E) Being the child in this scenario

F) All of the above.

Whichever you chose, this scenario is not an altogether an uncommon one to see for the judges and court personnel at Napa County Superior Court as well as courthouses across America.

While teen pregnancy rates are down somewhat, it is still a concern that young people, still maturing in every way possible, are having and raising children themselves. Finding common ground on parenting strategies, philosophies and just learning how to care for a new baby can be problematic even for mature couples. The additional complications that could arise for younger parents are not difficult to imagine.

In the past, extended and multi-generational families were very common. The so-called traditional family of recent times is once again giving way to many new formations of “family” today. Economic, social and emotional factors are creating nontraditional, single-parent families and a return to multi-generational families. Young people are not always fully prepared to set out on their own. This is particularly true of young people who suddenly find themselves with a new baby on the way.

Expectant parents may conclude that starting a new life together is not what they want, but they also may not be independent enough to embark on life as single parents, either. So multi-generational parenting may be the best solution. In this arrangement, young people rely on their own parent(s) to offer guidance, financial support and parenting wisdom. Grandparents are faced with the complicated task of raising their own children while providing direction on parenting, without taking over altogether.

This arrangement may also include the other (perhaps teenage) parent living in a similar setting. The youngest member of these respective families may be receiving different and even conflicting parental strategies from each home. Professional consensus is that most children thrive in a supportive environment, and that predictable routines help with appropriate development in all areas. Goals and methods of parenting need constant revisions as the child grows and develops. Communication needs to occur often and a spirit of give and take needs to prevail in these discussions.

Yet court is often a destination for many of these young parents who are conflicted on how — and sometimes even if — they need to share parental responsibilities with the other young parent. Here the legal issues can be resolved, either through child custody mediation or by a ruling of the judicial officer. In mediation, parents work cooperatively with a neutral professional who facilitates the discussion to help develop a parenting plan focused on the child’s best interests. But resolving the legal issues is only a part of the dilemma. Co-parenting is a challenging venture even under the best of circumstances.

Guiding the young parents who are then guiding the infant or toddler requires support, parenting tips and constant encouragement. The two young parents must try to put aside their differences and work cooperatively in raising the child. Early cooperation is key in working out differences, as well as providing their new child with the role models that they can look up to for years to come.

This essay was written by . Courthouse Corner, providing information to help the general public deal with the civil and criminal courts, appears on the second Tuesday of each month.