Remember Windows 98?

For most people, Windows 98 was two or three operating systems ago. Its heyday was back when Clinton was president.

But not at Courtney’s.

I bought my HP computer with Windows 98 in December, 1999. I was divorcing. Our home computer was leaving for another address. Of necessity, I purchased Microsoft’s latest and greatest.

Lightning fast, it was.

Unfortunately, a new century quickly dawned. In short order, Windows 98 became a joke, then an embarrassment.

Most Americans in recent years have been watching cute cat videos on YouTube and reruns of “The Office.” But not us. When asked to process anything more than routine e-mail, our dinosaur computer, born in an earlier century, would seize up.

Aggravating? Certainly. But speaking personally, not a huge problem. I was way behind in my magazine reading. I couldn’t see YouTube helping me catch up.  

Other members of the family weren’t as tolerant. According to Jonathan, ours was a computer in name only. Not one of his teenage friends had anything as geriatric.

Cheryl grumbled about long waits. When she bought income tax software, our computer couldn’t run it.

Little aggravations were the worst. For two years ZoneAlarm hammered us almost daily with reminders that it was time to renew our anti-spam protection. But when we tried to buy updates, we were told  that ZoneAlarm no longer made a product for Windows 98.

So the notices kept coming. And we kept deleting. Over and over, week after week, month after month.

Didn’t we know we were missing out big time? said Jenny, my grown daughter. If we had a contemporary computer, we could be downloading free movies and TV shows from Netflix, thus getting maximum value from our subscription.

Interesting, Jen. Very interesting.

So, why wasn’t I buying a new computer? Was it cost?

Frugality figured into it, but I think it was more sentimentality. Our feeble machine still had a pulse. It could still do some things. So I should just throw it away?

And another thing. How cool would it be to keep the computer in use until this December? A full 10 years with Windows 98. That could be a world’s record. ‘Ten years or bust’ became my motto.

When I talked that way, no one argued. What do you say to a deranged man?

So there we were, limping along with e-mail, denied the Internet’s most seductive goodies. Waiting, rebooting, waiting some more.

This torture might have lasted forever — until say, the Palin presidency — but for Jonathan. He reported one evening that Windows 98 wouldn’t allow him to do his homework.

That was it.

We came home a week later to a big box on our porch: A bottom-of-the-line Dell with Microsoft Vista.

Acquiring a fully functional computer was like when I was a kid and my family got the neighborhood’s first black and white TV. Daily existence was revolutionized.

Competition for the computer chair became fierce. Bottoms now rotate in and out so fast the chair stays at 98.6 degrees into the wee hours of the night.

All three of us spend precious home time checking and rechecking our e-mail, then checking again. With every passing day, Facebook’s tentacles expand their stranglehold.

To get video without hiccups, we had to upgrade our DSL service. The cost for faster was less than we had been paying for slower.

Cheryl couldn’t believe it. She called AT&T back to double-check the lower price. Believe it, the sales rep said.

Yes, wading in the Internet mainstream is a better way to go. With Windows 98, we were confined to puddles. With Vista we can play with the tropical fishes.

Has anyone out there seen the video clip of the  homely British woman who sings like an angel?

After recently seeing Joan Baez at the Napa Valley Opera House, Cheryl is now using YouTube to become a Baez groupie. She dives into video clips of vintage Baez from 30 and 40 years ago.

Arriving home from work last week, I tried to log on, but found the phone line usurped. Although Jonathan was no where to be found, his laptop was downloading “Twilight.”

Two hours later, “Twilight” was still downloading. And I was waiting, waiting.

It was like the old days.

Kevin can be reached at 256-2217 or Napa Valley Register,  P.O. Box 150, Napa 94559 or kcourtney@napanews.com