The old man
By Bill Kisliuk
November 8th, 2009
November 1st, 2009
October 25th, 2009
October 18th, 2009
October 11th, 2009
When my sister Amy called me at my desk in the newsroom and gave me the word that I’d better get to Los Angeles, my wife, my wife’s hound and I packed in a second and sped south.
As we rolled onto surface streets near my parents home in West L.A. about six hours later, angry red brake lights met us in every direction. It was rush hour.
I tried every dodge and side street I knew to get to the house quickly, but the effort to get to dad’s side before he died ended a block short, at Olympic Boulevard and Veteran Avenue.
One damn block. The stuff of screenplays, I think sometimes.
My sister Margaret called me as we waited for the signal to change at Olympic.
I pulled the phone out of my jeans pocket.
She asked where we were, then delivered the news.
Dad was gone. But then again I’m pretty sure dad was gone before he truly breathed his last.
I had felt it about 80 miles back, looking at the forbidding mountains atop the Tejon Pass as we barreled south.
Of course, I can’t say for sure whether what I felt was him lifting off or my own self suddenly struck by the inevitable.
But I believe it was him, because it hit me just the way he, a scientist to the marrow, would have had it: No fanfare, just a matter-of-fact reversing of the earth’s magnetic fields, undoing everything at once.
Melancholy, sure, but easily explained by immutable laws and mathematical probabilities.
Was it him?
I’ll never know. But I believe we all can tap into the sixth sense, sometimes playfully (we have a ghost in our home who throws dictionaries and decorative tiles, but never in anger) and sometimes when there is a lot on the line.
Dad’s been gone less than a year. While I find I can conjure him whenever I need to, he doesn’t take it upon himself to visit much.
That’s how he was, or at least how he was with me. He’d take it all in, but he wouldn’t interfere unless he thought it was important, even if I was doing something he thought would cause me grief or — just as likely in my twenties — cost him money.
A few month’s after dad died, Uncle Roy called from Massachusetts. He called us all — me, my sisters and my brother Tom.
It was dad’s birthday, and Uncle Roy and dad always talk on their birthdays.
He was calling us, but he was also calling on his brother, my father. I’ve never loved Uncle Roy more than at that moment.
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clean and serene wrote on Jun 21, 2009 2:01 AM:
freeport56 wrote on Jun 21, 2009 12:16 PM:
Thank you for the reminder for those of us unable to share our fathers day with our father in person. I lost my father a week before his 80th Birthday in 2002.
We had him cremated and spread his ashes off the coast of Palos Verdes in Southern California. So every fathers day and on his birthday, I go down to the ocean and throw gladiolas, his favorite flower, in the water and spend a few minutes holding back the tears.
I miss him every day. "
vocal-de-local wrote on Jun 21, 2009 12:21 PM:
Bill wrote on Jun 21, 2009 5:56 PM:
Missing the huskiness in his throat and laughter or the warm smile and aroma of the Prince Albert (or was that Sir Walter Raleigh?) pipe tobacco as well as the stern admonishments, which were few, brings father’s Day full circle each year. The imaginings of only if we had been closer rounds the corner of memory and makes one realize that we only truly pass away when no one remembers the small things that made those we loved who they were and the living who the are. The small things for good or ill that make us human, all too human. "
Ruff Limblog wrote on Jun 22, 2009 9:24 AM:
My dad was failing fast and I told him that I was moving back to Napa in the spring/summer of 1983.
He passed before we moved back, but I always cherished those last few conversations with dad as we rediscovered our relationship was closer than mere distance can define.
My dad has been gone for 26 years and I've now lived 6 years longer than he did. But I still miss him.
As individual as the loss of a father or mother is, those of us who have reached that point on this story of human life ahead of you can only share a nod and a hug in recognition of the loss that comes to us all sooner or later.
~Ruff "
glenroy wrote on Jun 22, 2009 10:30 AM:
shareathought wrote on Jun 24, 2009 6:48 PM: