Go ahead, say something is not perfect

By ANGELINA GERVASIO

People today, in the U.S. especially, have had their lives shaped so thoroughly by society's views of their opinions, that they no longer have a mind of their own, but rather a replica of what is deemed acceptable by the people around them... especially the media.  

Hardly anybody says what they think or what they believe for fear of offending even one person, for hurting their feelings and therefore being shunned by society. Everything you say will offend some person or another, there's no way around it, you need to get over it. 

People tell kids you can do anything you feel like -- even if it won't get you anywhere in life -- just as long as your self-esteem is OK. Self-esteem, is confidence, just call it that.

The only way to build confidence is to do something you feel proud of. This does not mean slapping some paint on paper on a piece of cardboard and comparing it to the Mona Lisa, not even close. This means working hard at something until it is deemed perfect by your own assessment.  Why should you even bother to ask someone else what they think, since they will tell you that it's great in a pathetic effort to keep your feelings from being hurt and your self-esteem undamaged.

I have been insulted, offended, called cruel, mean spirited and blood thirsty by many, but I honestly don't care. I got over it and by the looks of it, I'm turning out OK. As most of you probably know, your boss won't care about your feelings when they tell you that what you did was terrible and not what they wanted, they want the job done and they want it done right. If you can't comply, there's a long, long line of people waiting to take your place.

Schools no longer allow many competitions for fear that the kids who loses self-esteem will be hurt. Competition brings out the best in anyone, and losing teaches more than it hurts. You will not always succeed, you will not always get the job, or make the soccer team,  you will not always get what you want, but that shouldn't mean that you simply give up. You practice harder and longer until you are the best and try again.

I have failed at one thing or another, so has everyone else on the face of this Earth, yet that didn't hold people like Bill Gates and Lance Armstrong back from becoming who they are today. You can do absolutely anything if you really want it. Take it from me, I have passed fast, light road bikes on my Schwinn from Target, simply because I wanted to. Will power, I think it is called.

If you tell a kid, a coworker, a friend, anyone that what they do is perfect, even when it's far from it, you are hurting their chances at success more than anything else. They will think what they have is perfect, and they will not work to make their effort even better. They will settle at average, or even below average simply because you tell them it is OK. It is not cruel to give constructive criticism, even though you may think so. Sure, they'll be insulted or embarrassed for a few minutes, but then they will realize that you were right, that they could do better, and then they will try, because you told the truth.

Think about that the next time someone asks for your opinion.

Angelina Gervasio is a seventh-grader at Redwood Middle School in Napa. She writes a blog at NapaValleyRegister.com on a variety of subjects ... when her mom says she is caught up on homework.

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