Alice Feiring, a blogger who writes veritasinvino.com, was asked during a recent online interview with Tom Wark on his fermentation.com blog what kind of wine rating or review system she uses.

Her response: “I don’t believe in them. I believe in words and making people read. But now that I’m thinking of it, if I had to … it might be something like:

I can’t put it in my mouth.

Down the drain, not the hatch.

I can drink it, but I’m not happy.

I can drink this. It does no harm.

Every day? Sure, why not.

What a quirky wine. Interesting.

I really like this wine.

I love this wine.

I can’t stop thinking about this wine.

I can’t live without this wine.”

(That’s simplicity and honesty.)

Playing Olympic games

Olympic Cellars Winery is located on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state and has a great view of the Olympic Mountains. It has used the Olympic name since 1992.

But now it looks like the folks who run it are in trouble. The U.S. Olympic Committee recently told the winery owners that the name is an infringement on the USOC’s name, although Seattletimes.com reports that in 1997 the winery received permission to use the Web site www.olympiccellars.com.

The USOC now told the winery it was OK to sell wine in Western Washington but not outside the area nor to people who have not visited the winery. Co-owner Kathy Charlton said she sent a letter to the USOC saying she did not agree to that demand, but has not received a response. She has added a disclaimer to the Web site indicating there is no connection between Olympic cellars and the USOC.

According to the winery’s Web site, the brands produced are La Dolce Vida, Dungeness Heritage and Working Girl Wines, with proceeds from the latter supporting woman and family-based charities.

(I guess that rules out winegrape stomping as an Olympic sport.)

Health warnings expanded

Health warnings have been on wine labels and advertisements for wine for many years now, but a court in France has ruled that health warnings should be put on newspaper articles.

The court said an article about Champagne in a Paris newspaper could be constituted as advertising, even if page space had not been sold, according to decanter.com. It contained recommendations and price details, and used such headings as “Good and inexpensive” and “Four dream bottles.”

The Web site continued, “The court said that the article was ‘intended to promote sales of alcoholic beverages in exercising a psychological effect on the reader that incited him or her to buy alcohol.’”

Needless to say it has stunned journalists, and the International Federation of Wine & Spirits Journalists and Writers has filed a petition against the ruling.

(What’s the French version of the First Amendment?)

Australian wine shortage

It wasn’t too long ago that we wrote about the glut of wine in Australia and how the oversupply could fill 200-something Olympic sized swimming pools.

Now comes word that the drought that has plagued that country for the last couple of years is likely to cause an undersupply of grapes for the next four to five years.

The Australian Wine and Brandy Corporation said recently that restrictions on water allocation will mean that fewer grapes will be produced. And that will mean that supply will fail to meet demand.

(Isn’t there an expression: “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”?)

Making home wine?

A press release came across the desk promoting a home winemaking kit, but this one is different from others — it claims to ferment wine in just four days.

Neither the release nor the Web site give any indication of how this is accomplished, but both say you can use juice from any fruit (it even hints at using vegetables) and the juice can be freshly squeezed, frozen or powdered. The release said it’s healthful, because no preservatives are added.

The Web site calls it the “World Fastest Home Winemaking Kit” but then refers to it as a “Home Booze Kit” and lists a number of attributes, including, “Make booze in just four days,” “Get hammered every time” and “Drink healthy and fresh booze all the time.” Apparently these are intended to entice someone into buying it.

There’s no mention of price, but when clicking on the “Try it now” icon, you’re directed to eBay, where it’s priced at $9.97.

(This is one product we’ll never see in the Napa Valley Home Winemakers Classic. And, as Martha Stewart says, “That’s a good thing.”)

Quote of the week

“Drink a glass of wine after your soup and you steal a ruble from your doctor.” – Russian proverb

Jack Heeger can be reached at jheeger@napanews.com.