Three women own a winery in Oklahoma called “Girls Gone Wine,” a name they registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark office last February.

Now they’re suing the producer of the DVDs called “Girls Gone Wild” which feature women exposing themselves, on grounds the producer of “Girls Gone Wild” has threatened to sue them over trademark infringement, according to Associated Press.

The Trademark Office has already weighed in on the subject, the three women’s attorney said. “There’s no issue here. They can co-exist,” he said.

AP reports that the “Girls Gone Wild” founder, Joe Francis, said his lawyers will “crush” the women. AP also reports that Francis is in a Reno jail pending tax evasion charges and is charged in Florida with conspiracy and using minors in a sexual performance.

(Looks like he already has enough legal problems on his platter.)

New year’s eve in Spain

Grapes play a major role in greeting the new year in Spain. The story is told that one year there was a particularly large grape harvest and the King proclaimed that everyone should eat grapes.

A tradition arose in which everyone pops one grape into their mouth when the clock strikes midnight and another for each chime, and by the time the clock has finished chiming, everybody has to have finished their grapes and the New Year starts. But no one finishes eating the grapes on time, so they start the year with a mouthful of grapes.

(It’s difficult to imagine that this is more enjoyable than taking a mouthful of wine.)

Another new wine gadget     

A new gadget appeared this week — a USB Wine Dispenser. The announcement said all you have to do is plug it into a USB port (presumably on your computer) and hold a glass under the tap for a glass of wine. Then the announcement said, “Unfortunately … this is a prank device. You seriously did not think it would actually pour out wine from nowhere, did you?”

(Shucks. I logged on to the Chateau Petrus Web site, plugged the gadget into a USB port and had my glass ready. Then I read that last statement.)

Costly mistake

An item on luxist.com tells of Péas, a village in France that in the 1950s decided to stop growing grapes and turned toward other agricultural products. “Legend has it that when the mayor at the time found out that his city was eligible to seek inclusion in the Champagne grape-growing region, he threw the letter away,” the Web site said.

A hectare, which is about 2.5 acres, in Péas is worth about $9,000, while a hectare where grapes grow for Champagne is worth about $1.5 million.

But the folks there may get another chance — there’s a movement afoot to expand the Champagne region.

(The moral of the story is that it might pay to read even junk mail.)

Perfect Christmas formula

This is a bit late, but maybe it would work for New Year’s. From dailymail.co.uk comes the following formula for a perfect family Christmas devised by Professor Rudy Dallos:

PX = 8F x 4P + £23 x 8F + 3G +2W +2W:3C + 5T:1NR divided by 3D.

 “Put in plain English,” the Web site says, “it advises us to spend three days with eight family members and to give them four presents each. We should spend £23 on each family member, play three games, take two walks and drink two parts wine for every three chocolates.”

He also recommends that the best Christmas dinner is five parts turkey to one part nut roast.

(Some readers actually took this seriously, judging from the comments on the Web site. But I do like the part about two parts wine and three parts chocolate.)

Sherry promotion

Look for more promotion of sherry next year. Decanter.com reports that the trade association Fedejerez plans to spend about $4 million in the U.S., Canada and Japan to boost sales of sherry, and over the next four years it will spend nearly $1.5 million a year on promotional projects.

The Web site said Fedejerez “believes that in relatively undeveloped countries like the U.S., Canada and Japan, producers can double their exports during the life of the strategy.”

(Somehow it’s hard to think of the U.S. as an undeveloped country.)

Quote of the week

“May all your troubles in the coming year be as short as your New Year’s resolutions.” — Author unknown

Jack Heeger can be reached at jheeger@napanews.com.