Dealing with fake wine

By Jack Heeger

If you suspect that you have a bottle of counterfeit wine, there’s a place you can go for help. Russell Frey, who found some counterfeit wine in his collection, has created a Web site that can offer some help in determining whether it’s legitimate or not.

Frey says that to avoid misuse of the site, he is charging a “token membership fee” and an additional cost is made for actual authentication of a bottle. A quick examination of the site didn’t indicate what the charges are, though.

The site, www.wineauthentification.com, first of its kind, was created because “there was no easily accessible resource available to help people determine the authenticity of these bottles,” Frey said.

(Can we be certain the Web site is authentic?)

Fancy Champagne storage  

Speaking of wine storage, Veuve Cliquot has come up with a cabinet that will hold 12 magnums of Cliquot’s Champagne. It’s not just any old cabinet, though — it was created in partnership with Porche Design Studio and is a tower made of stainless steel with separate bottle-shaped compartments for each bottle and the temperature is set perfectly for Champagne.

There are only 15 worldwide, with only two available in the U.S. The price tag? $70,000.

(For that price you’d think they’d throw in the Champagne, too.)

Wanna buy a prison cell?

An Australian man who served time in a prison bought the cell in which he was incarcerated after the prison was closed and was being converted into a storage facility for rare wine.

Graeme Alford had been a lawyer but served eight years for embezzlement and armed robbery and was released in 1980, according to an item on decanter.com. He since has become a motivational speaker and author. He said he’s buying the cell as an investment.

(Now, that’s a real wine cell-ar.)

Law threatens priests

A proposed law in Ireland that would create a zero limit for drivers may lead to priests being arrested for DUI.

It seems that many priests often conduct several Masses a day and some of them officiate in different parishes. They are required to actually drink the consecrated wine to celebrate the Eucharist. Bbc.co.uk reports that a while back the Vatican ruled that alcohol-free wine could not be used — “if alcohol-free wine or gluten-free bread (the wafer offered at Communion) are used, it’s an invalid Mass,” according to a priest.

One priest who said he performed three services a day, commented, “If I took only a mouthful of wine from the chalice at all three masses, I feel this could put me over the legal limit for driving.”

(Imagine using celebration of the Eucharist as a defense in court.)

Siblings show features wine

Wine is getting a big boost from “Brothers and Sisters,” the ABC show on Sunday night, in which wine is featured just about every week.

For readers who do not follow the show, the family recently went into the wine business in the Santa Barbara area and while scenes involving the winery occur occasionally, the cast members seem to have a glass of wine in their hands quite frequently.

A report on news.ninemsn.com.au said that there is so much wine consumed in scenes that the actors are not given real wine — non-alcoholic grape juice is used instead.

(If the show wanted to use, say, petite sirah, maybe it could do for that varietal what “Sideways” did for pinot noir.)

Wine on (off-)Broadway

Wine is showing up more often in the entertainment business.

The newest is “Wine Lovers,” a wine-tasting musical that, according to the announcement from the composer, Michael Green, “tells the story of two mismatched students attending a wine class led by an effervescent teacher and their journey of discovery.” During the show, audience members will taste six wines along with the class and, hopefully, will learn something about wine.

The show opens in New York Dec. 1 for a six-performance run.

(The words “wine notes” will take on a whole new meaning.)

Canadian wine sales

Sales of wine in Canada continue to increase, although beer remains the beverage of choice, according to cbc.com.

Canadians spent an average of $173.10 on wine last year, an increase of nearly $12 from the previous year, while they spent $316.90 on beer per capita.

Sales of wine increased in all provinces, but the increase in Quebec was the highest, and residents there accounted for 35 percent of all wine purchased in Canada.

(That may not be so unusual, considering that Quebec is a French-speaking province, and you know how Frenchmen love their wine.)

Quote of the week

“Whenever a man is tired, wine is a great restorer of strength.” — Homer, “The Iliad”

Jack Heeger can be reached at jheeger@napanews.com

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