Although she did not bear the brunt of the abuse, Jennifer Siegfried — a Texas resident turned Napan — knows that violence in the home comes in many forms.

“My abuser actually abused our son. He ended up shaking our son so that when we were in (Texas) and Child Protective Services became involved, they referred me to the battered women’s support group there.”

In 2003, Siegfried, now 29, gained custody of her son and brought him to California. The plan for mother and son was to live with Siegfried’s parents in Napa. That plan is working, and Siegfried become an advocate for abused children and domestic violence victims at Napa Emergency Women’s Services.

Siegfried said those who find themselves in abusive relationships should know they’re not alone. Local support groups — including those offered by NEWS — are key to the healing process, she said. “You come to understand that the things you’ve been dealing with are not unique and there are ways of getting out of the situation.”

In 2003, when Siegfried was still living in Texas, the family court imposed a restraining order so that her now ex-husband could not be near their son, she said.

Restraining orders are sometimes ordered by judges to separate combatants or protect individuals. Often, those who see no other alternative but to force a family member to stay away will seek such an order from the courts. Shea Hunter, program director of NEWS, said approximately 30 Napa County residents request restraining orders through NEWS each month.

Tracy Lamb, executive director of NEWS, said the organization also offers counseling services, support groups, a crisis hotline, emergency food, shelter, children’s services and more to over 1,000 women and children each year.

In addition, Lamb said, NEWS links victims to food stamp services, Victim and Witness services, Clinic Ole and other resources. “We are about giving people options. ... All we can do is provide support and let them know they’re not alone,” Lamb said.

Hunter said NEWS also has a Napa shelter for abused women and children. The shelter can host four adults and 12 children at a time. NEWS leaders declined to discuss the location of the shelter for safety and privacy reasons. But said, Lamb, “I wanted it to be a place that if I had to go there, I could live there and be comfortable.”

While providing legal assistance and a shelter are important first steps, they represent only the beginning of what is needed to help victims extract themselves from abusive situations. It is vital that victims also find long-term solutions to housing and economic challenges that are often side effects of getting out of an abusive relationship.

After using NEWS’ shelter — sometimes for as long as two months — women can use the agency’s transitional housing program, which connects them to long-term housing options and employment opportunities. NEWS employees then monitor the new situation to see women and their children are adjusting financially and emotionally. Transitional housing can be used for up to two years, Lamb said.

The long-term support model, Lamb said, is a vast improvement of the old model of crisis intervention, which “set clients up for failure” because it only guaranteed a short stay at a shelter. In contrast, NEWS helps women to get work, set up a budget, save money and get access to emergency food supplies if necessary, she said.

“Many clients are stay-at-home moms who didn’t handle the finances,” said Shea. “These women can move on to lead independent, safe lives,” she said, adding that there is no limit on how many times NEWS will assist a client.

“It’s really neat to watch the transition. They come in two weeks later and their faces are entirely different. ... That’s why I work here,” said Lamb.

Sometimes, it all starts with one telephone call. Hunter said the most used service at NEWS is a 24-hour crisis hotline — offered in both English and Spanish. People who may not be ready to leave use it to voice their concerns and ask questions, she said.

NEWS also offers weekly support groups in Spanish and English. Because not all domestic violence victims are women, said Lamb, men have access to all of the services offered by NEWS with the exception of the temporary Napa shelter.

Help for abusers

Men who are not on the receiving end of abuse can also find help in Napa. Dan Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker in private practice, teaches anger management classes for men who have received court orders to attend them.

Garcia, who has taught the classes since 1990, said he primarily works with the local Hispanic population. An average of about 50 men attend the classes he teaches every month.

Garcia said a man’s upbringing and culture can heavily influence how he is taught to deal with anger.

“Culturally, with Hispanic men, we have what is called ‘machismo’ ingrained in us from a very young age. ... It’s something they will always have, but my job is to get them to recognize it when it comes out — and to be able to control it,” said Garcia.

There seems to be a rise in class attendance during the winter months, when many seasonal farmworkers may spend more time at home, Garcia added.

Bill Krimm, executive director of Alternatives for Better Living in Napa, also organizes a domestic violence batterers program in both English and Spanish. Krimm said about 60 men are enrolled.

Domestic violence and substance abuse often occur simultaneously within families, he said. Approximately 90 percent of the men in his programs have drug and alcohol abuse problems, said Krimm. Alternatives for Better Living also offers programs which address this drug use.

Krimm said domestic violence affects people in a wide range of socioeconomic and ethnic groups.

“As with addiction, there’s probably a presupposition that people involved in domestic violence are lower income, and it’s really not the case. ... We routinely see people who are making a lot of money and who are very successful who are involved in domestic violence cases,” said Krimm.

Connie Millimaki, co-founder of Alternatives for Better Living, works with women who have been referred to anger management classes by the courts.

She said the key to gaining the upper hand on domestic violence is when people “find substance in themselves ...  I don’t believe in hanging the ‘cycle of violence’ poster up in my office. What they need is something to feel good about themselves, That’s what we work on most of the time.”

Although more men than women are reported for domestic violence crimes, Gayle O’Kelley, program manager of Victim and Witness Services — a program of the Volunteer Center of Napa Valley — said not all instigators are men. “Now, more women are being arrested for domestic violence. Law enforcement first brought it to our attention. ... If someone is being violent and aggressive, they need to be held accountable for that.”

O’Kelley said Victim and Witness Services provides help to victims of domestic violence and other crimes, offering accompaniment to court proceedings for moral support and helping people navigate the criminal justice system. Its other services include counseling, referrals to other local resources and more.

During O’Kelley’s 30 years with the organization, she has witnessed injuries such as broken arms, cracked ribs, split lips and even victims with two black eyes. “I saw some really awful, awful things,” she said.

Although advocates for domestic violence victims will always be in demand, O’Kelley said the resources available to both victims and offenders have grown exponentially since she began volunteering at Victim and Witness Services in the mid-’70s. “When I first started, domestic violence was referred to as ‘disturbing the peace’ or ‘family beefs.’ They were misdemeanors unless the victim was shot, stabbed or killed,” she said, adding that there was no Napa shelter during much of the ’70s and no local services for victims.

Millimaki notes that doctors and emergency rooms now report it when they see patients whose injuries appear to be related to domestic violence, and that has also helped shed light on the problems.

O’Kelley, who joined Victim and Witness Services in 1976 as a volunteer, said the rewards of her job keep her coming back to work every morning.

“When someone gets through testifying and they thank you ... what more job satisfaction can you get?” said O’Kelley.