Teen drowning caused by carbon monoxide, alcohol

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Friday, September 14, 2007

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By MARSHA DORGAN
Register Staff Writer

Vintage High freshman drowns at Berryessa

The 13-year-old Napa girl who drowned on Labor Day weekend at Lake Berryessa died of the combined effects of carbon monoxide poisoning caused by boat engine fumes and consumption of alcohol, according to the Napa County Coroner’s Office.

Autopsy results revealed that Erin Brookman, a Vintage High School freshman who was to turn 14 the next day, had a lethal level of carbon monoxide in her lungs and had a blood-alcohol level of .17, more than twice the legal limit for adults in California, said Napa County Sheriff’s Lt. Tom Commander.

Brookman was at the lake with family and friends who had gathered on several boats near the Pope Creek Bridge. Brookman and a female friend were in the water near those boats. Some of the engines were idling, and therefore contributed to the carbon monoxide poisoning, investigators said.

At first, Brookman’s friend became sick, and several of the people on the boat jumped into the water to help her. At that time, Brookman went under the water and did not resurface, detectives said, adding that people at the scene lost track of Brookman during the commotion of attending to her friend.

The Napa County Dive Team returned to the lake on the following and recovered Brookman’s body near the area where she went under, in about 35 feet of water.

Sheriff’s detectives are in the midst of conducting a criminal investigation into the drowning. At this time, no arrests have been made.

Commander said autopsy results showed Brookman had a carbon monoxide level of 64 percent.

“Potential lethal levels of carbon monoxide in a person’s body is between 50-60 percent,” he said. “Age also has an effect. The younger the victim, the less the level needs to be to be lethal.”

According to the U.S. Coast Guard, boaters face significant risks from carbon monoxide, particularly in areas where multiple boats gather. People entering the water from boats should stay away from the areas where engine exhaust is released when the engines are running.

Colorless, odorless and tasteless, carbon monoxide is a by-product of gasoline and propane-fueled engines. Overexposure to carbon monoxide can cause symptoms similar to inebriation or being sea sick.

Brookman and her mother had moved to Napa about two months ago from Rohnert Park.

Brookman had been a student at Vintage for about five days before her death.

She is survived by her sister, Lauren, her parents, grandparents and several other relatives. Services were held Sept. 12 in San Jose.

48 comment(s)

momtoo wrote on Sep 13, 2007 7:35 PM:

" How terrible! Who gave this little girl alcohol?! "

Two Cents wrote on Sep 13, 2007 7:40 PM:

" Wait a minute... .17 blood alcohol level?? Wasnt she partying at the lake with her mother?? Was this ok in mom's eyes? Are the authorities investigating that? Too many parents try to be the "cool parent" and its so sad, in the long run, it serves no one. "

ampape045 wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:31 PM:

" As one of the family members, the whole family is disgusted with the findings of the toxicology report of our Erin. It is our understanding that there is a crimial investigate and it is our hope that justice will be served on Erin's behalf. But as we all know when we meet our maker we will all have to answer for our sins, especially sins against children. We miss you Erin and our hearts are really aching even more now. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:41 PM:

" Tax Payer and momtoo: CO is so much more deadly than a .17 alcohol content that it doesn't even matter that she was drinking, that would not have killed her. It's apples and oranges.Rather than so many people sitting in judgement and fighting on this site daily- we could show some compassion as a community for this family. RIP little one. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 13, 2007 10:43 PM:

" To family member: I am so sorry for your great loss. May God bless you and be with you at this difficult time. "

ampape045 wrote on Sep 13, 2007 11:32 PM:

" On Wednesday Erin's fathers side of the family celebrated "albeit solemnly" the life of one of thier youngest. No heart was left untouched by the recollections of family members. Erin's favortie Italian dish, penne pasta with chicken "cluck cluck" was served as well as powered donuts, one of Erin's weaknesses. Thank you to Pastor Joel King for his ministering and words of comfort in our time of sorrow. My brother Troy, Erin's dad, stoicly eulogized Erin in a way that will be remembered as grace under pressure. My heart goes out to grandpa Bob who bravely told of his encountered with two beautiful white butterflies "angels" that danced together in dappled sunlight in his enchanted garden revealing, without words, the journey Erin is on, and that she's NOT alone. Grammie Scotti encompassed Erin's life and how it relates to the one's left behind, those of us who will struggle with our loss, our grief and our faith. Troy's longtime friend Darrel Brown reminiced us through the words of his children, memories that will not be forgotten, ever. Accountabliltiy aside, let us rejoice in the life that was Erin. May Lauren, Erin's sister, be comforted by the knowledge that her South Bay family loves her dearly. My efforts to memorialize Erin was made a Joy, due to my cousin Miechelle and her husband Steve, Melise, and especially Madalyn and Amanda for the beautiful song they sang for Erin. And, lastly Thank You Scott for dropping everything, hopping on a plane and smoothing out the rough edges. Love Uncle Mitch "

truth wrote on Sep 14, 2007 12:02 AM:

" Pope Creek Bridge had claimed dozens of lifes. Erin is latest. It isn't the booze. It isn't the drugs. It isn't the "girls gone wild" atmosphere....it is ALL OF THE ABOVE. This was ANOTHER murder waiting to happen. Murder? Dont you mean "accident"???? NO!!! The Pope Creek Bridge...aka the "Party Bridge" has claimed dozens of lifes and Erin is the latest. Anarchy. Chaos. Lives lost. How long are we going to tolerate this death trap in Napa County? "

JimClark wrote on Sep 14, 2007 3:24 AM:

" What we call "accidents" are often "incidents". Accidents occur outside the realm of judicious control. Incidents, such as those that occur at Pope Bridge are easily controlled by avoiding that which seems to cause repeated death and injury. All loss of life, be it accidental or incidental are not what we normally expect. Death comes to each of us in time. The untimely death through thoughtlessness and/or willfull disregard is sad and has an effect on so many who remain. "

lpanelli wrote on Sep 14, 2007 8:45 AM:

" Poor Erin was a victim of irresponsible boaters. Why would ANYONE have their engine idling while there were people swimming? I understand there was a layer of CO from all the boats in the area, but a responsible boat owner would not allow people in the water in that environment. Just because you can buy a boat, doesn't mean you should have one. A boating safety course should be required of everyone who registers a boat in their name. The fact that she had a bal of .17 is disgusting and sad. My cousin, her father, should never have had to eulogize his 13 year old daughter. It was absolutely heart wrenching to watch. Erin was a funny, goofy, silly, sweet beautiful girl that will missed and fondly remembered. Such a loss and shame. This could have been avoided. I hope people learn a lesson from this, and the loss of Erin isn't a complete waste. We'll miss you, Erin. "

vocal-de-local wrote on Sep 14, 2007 9:05 AM:

" Personally, I wouldn't want my young female relatives exposed to the environment at Pope Creek Bridge. My family went kayaking back up the creek this summer and we passed through boats with women dancing as though they were auditioning for a strip club. We won't be back there anytime soon. My generation fought so hard for women to NOT be treated like objects and this generation is fighting so hard to reverse it; a lot of hard work on the part of my generation for nothing. Also, I think these young women should know that a bunch of perverts stand in the parking lot with binoculars observing the wild and crazy scene below. If you know that your daughter is heading out to Pope Creek Bridge, know that it's a risky environment. Be careful. "

JDog wrote on Sep 14, 2007 9:51 AM:

" What was this mother thinking. She had to have known her daughter was drinking. That kid should have had a life jacket on. This is murder plan and simple. This should not be swept under the doormat and left alone. Charges need to be brought against whomever let her drink and the mother for not paying attention to her drunk daughter. "

Tax Payer wrote on Sep 14, 2007 10:03 AM:

" Drunk and no life jacket! She could not have gone to the bottom with a life jacket on. Where were the adults? Criminal charges should be filed against every adult involved. "

mominapa wrote on Sep 14, 2007 10:13 AM:

" I want so badly to feel sorry for everyone involved in this little girl's life, but Oh, My God, what was she doing drinking at 13? I am hoping she was hiding it from her mother who was present because if she wasn't and the mother knew, guilt will be her best friend for the rest of her life. "

Two Cents wrote on Sep 14, 2007 10:32 AM:

" To mytwocents: the fact that you would actually say that having a BAC level of .17 "doesnt even matter" is absurd. It absolutely DOES matter. Maybe that isnt what killed her, but its the principle that a mother would allow a 14 year old girl to be drinking 1 sip, let alone, enough to cause her to be twice as much over the legal limit for adults. That type of neglience definitely contributed to her death. Like I said before, we've got so many parents out there who try to be the "cool parents" and let their kids do whatever they want. This was clearly the case here. People should know that certain weekends (Memorial Day, Labor Day & 4th of July) are not family oriented weekends at the lake. They are weekends for people to tie their boats together, get obliterated, and act obnoxious. Clearly not an appropriate place for impressionable young girls. This just makes me sick that an innocent girl lost her life because of ignorant parenting. I feel sorry for the father who clearly had no part in this whole event. My prayers go out to you and your family. "

LakeGirl wrote on Sep 14, 2007 10:36 AM:

" Its sad and heartwrenching. And it was 100% avoidable. I'm a regular at the bridge for the holiday weekends, and I was there when this happened. It's NOT a place to bring kids and that's obvious. I never understand those adults who bring their kids there just so the parents can hang out. Its irresponsible. Allowing your underage kids to drink as well as drinking along with them is WRONG. HUGE lesson learned here I hope. Rest in peace Erin. "

calisa wrote on Sep 14, 2007 11:05 AM:

" So the truth is finally told! I have refrained from making any comments on this story until the tox reports came back, which as I suspected it would proved this young girl was intoxicated. So the simple fact is, she was "wasted" before she went into the water, as I sincerly doubt she dreaded water with a beer in hand, WITHOUT a life jacket on. This poor mother who bashed the sheriffs dept and to Harry Martin, may you choke on the truth! There is NO WAY this mother was NOT aware this child was drinking, carbon monoxide aside, this was irresponsible and cost a young girl her life. It was so easy for her "the mother" to lay blame on everyone around (sheriffs dept in the article in the Harry Martin Rag paper) when the blame lies soley with herself and the parties involved in contributing to the not only deliguence of a minor but contributing in the death of a minor. To Erin's father, my heart goes out to you, you were not aware of what was going on with your child at the time of her death and I hope that you can find some peace someday with your daughters untimely passing and also may you find some justice in the upcoming months as the investigation into her death continues. "

ErinsFavoriteCousin wrote on Sep 14, 2007 11:08 AM:

" Erin was so close to me she was like a little sister, we always had so much fun together. She was so beautiful and so smart. This loss has set me in many emotions. I have been angry, sad, i have felt hatred to those who were on site while she was drowning. I hope it comes back around to those 10-fold!!! I love you Erin and I will never ever forget you and how much fun we always had together. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 14, 2007 11:20 AM:

" to Tax Payer: As a person in the medical field,I was strictly speaking of the cause of death -not moralizing. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 14, 2007 11:36 AM:

" My mistake tax payer , my comment was in regard to Two Cent's post. "

opiniagirl wrote on Sep 14, 2007 12:36 PM:

" Disgusting example of irresponsible parenting. How can you not know what your child is doing. If she was hiding it - there must be no worry about ramifications from mom on the way home. Way to go, Mom...but hey at least she can talk to you about ANYTHING and can call you her BEST FRIEND! Ridiculous. "

LakeGirl wrote on Sep 14, 2007 1:49 PM:

" All the boats were tied together. There wasn't any "hiding" going on and mom was partying too. I watched mom ride off on the Sheriff boat and heard some of their conversation. I hope the paper keeps us informed as the investigation proceeds. I'd like to see what the blood alcohol level was on the mom as well as the girl my friend saved by doing CPR on. As a mother myself, I would NEVER provide alcohol to my own child, and I don't take her to the bridge either. "

TheMrs wrote on Sep 14, 2007 2:32 PM:

" Please...Please...I have to know...DID THE MOTHER know her 13 year old was drinking Booze???? Did any of the adults know this? What is going on? "

angelique wrote on Sep 14, 2007 4:02 PM:

" I know the people who were there on the same boat as Erin and none of them would ever put a childs life in danger. I think we all have opinions of this incident like whose to blame, who let this girl drink, why did people have their boats running where people were swimming, etc. But lets set that all aside and think about what this childs freinds and family are going through. I meen do they really need all these judgemental remarkes? I personally dont think so. I didn't know Erin but I did go to her funeral and her family and friends all loved her so much. So why don't we all stop with the critisism and let Erin's family greeve and morn the loss of their very bright, very brave little girl. To Erin's family I hope you will all find peace and my thoughts are with. "

ldstraw wrote on Sep 14, 2007 5:21 PM:

" My most sincere sympathies for the entire Brookman family for this tragic and senseless loss of such a beautiful, young girl. There was more than one intoxicated adult on that boat. Napa Registry should have listed every single name of each intoxicated adult on that boat that permitted this child to drink. Every single one of them should be held accountable for her death. Troy we love you and are here for you. "

justathought wrote on Sep 14, 2007 9:20 PM:

" It seems most of you dont know Erin or her family and are very quick to judge. I hope that none of you ever find yourselves in a situation such a this. Seriously folks, find out the facts. There is a lot more to this story than today's article. "

truth wrote on Sep 14, 2007 10:51 PM:

" To JustaThought: Really? Do you have some inside info that you're keeping to yourself? Lets recap: Labor Day weekend, Pope Creek "Party Bridge"...several hundred boats, several thousand drunken partiers....alcohol everywhere...a 13 year old girl with a .17 BAC...idling boat engines, ignorant boat operators and inattentive chaperones...one dead girl...one near dead....Am I missing something? What "facts" do you have that change ANY of that? "

friendsoffamily wrote on Sep 14, 2007 11:00 PM:

" I read the comments today and I am amazed at how opinionated people can be. I know this family personally and how hard they have struggled to get by and remain together in very trying times. We want to offer our support and heartfelt condolances to all of Erin's family and friends. Erin was a great kid with complexities none of us may ever understand. But she was her own person, and deserves our ut-most respect, as does her family during their time of horrible grief and pain. So, I would suggest to everyone taking a judgemental position to take a good look at themselves and thank God for all you have. I hope and pray for healing in this family and I pray for the foregiveness of their critics. "

spongea22 wrote on Sep 15, 2007 6:48 AM:

" i think that this is sad that a young girl lost her life. but im just wondering how she got alcohol? i really hope that the police are ivestigating that. "

veedub2 wrote on Sep 15, 2007 6:53 AM:

" MOM? This mother should have her other daughter removed and placed with the grandparents or in a foster family. the investigation needs to end up with no less than a manslaghter charge. .17 on a 13 year old child under the mothers care is unbelievable, she could possibly drowned just as easily by being so drunk! You call this a responsible PARENT! "

On Erins Side wrote on Sep 15, 2007 10:51 AM:

" I don't think most of you realize what you are saying. I am a very close friend to Erin and I love her dearly. It hurts to see all of you making crude comments about things you know nothing about. Erin and her family have had a rough life. And things just got a lot tougher for them. So before you go and express your feelings, think about how her family feels, think about how her close friends feel. Unless you're a close friend of Erin's you will never understand her like we did! At least she was having fun that day! Erin's mother would never supply alcohol to her. Erin's mother loved Erin with all of her heart and would NEVER put her child in any kind of danger! So think about what you're saying. Think how bad it hurt's her friends and family to know this is what you think of her. Nothings going to change the fact that she's gone, but it would help if you weren't so judgmental! Ilove you Erin, and I am always on your side no matter what! "

spongea22 wrote on Sep 15, 2007 11:09 AM:

" .17 alcohol level wow. wasnt she at the lake with her mom? i seriously hope the police are investigating that, and how this 13 yr old girl obtained alcohol.what was her mom thinking? she had to have knownt that erin was drunk? i wonder if the police are investigating the possiblity that her mother was the one that gave her the alcohol. "

bestfriend wrote on Sep 15, 2007 1:06 PM:

" Honestly people., do you really think a mother would let erin drink. Well I know she wouldn't. When it came to Erin's safety her mother would never let anything go wrong. This is unfortunate that such a gorgeous young girl had to be taken away so soon. I think that it is horrible that a majority of people who only read the news article and have no idea what happened that day have no clue of what they are talking about. Her mother cared for Erin, she was her baby. Erin was thrown a curve ball not to long ago in her life, nd her family and friends were right there to support her. Her mother had unconditional love for Erin.These comments i read about her be a bad mother makes me sick. None of you knew her and for those who did know how Einr's mother was with drinking. She never let Erin drink, and if she did she was in trouble for it. I mean really, havn't any of you snuck out behind your parents back and did something they wouldn't approve? this just breaks my heart when people judge others without any background of a person. Erin, all of your friends and family love and respect everything you did. And I know what your thinking right now about everyone disrespecting yuo and yuor mother. rest in paradise my love. "

bestfriend2 wrote on Sep 15, 2007 7:25 PM:

" i can't belive some of you poeple are so insensitive. a mother just lost her youngest daughter. you people are so judgmental. she doesn't deserve to have her other daughter taken away form her. hasn't she been through enough? how can u sit there and judge her on something that is honestly none of your business. she is great mother. you people don't even know her. she cared so much about erin and all you guys can do is say she deserves to have her other daughter, the only one she has now, taken away from her!? god. i don't even know what to say to some of you. erin was my best friend. i loved her. and her mother was like a second mom to me. and now she lost her baby and all u can do is sit back and critisize her for something she might not have even been aware of? i can't believe you. i love you Erin && your family too. Rest in Paradise. "

Green Cookie Monster wrote on Sep 15, 2007 7:57 PM:

" To answer your question bestfriend2, if she's responsible for her daughter's death, then no, she hasn't been through enough. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 15, 2007 11:25 PM:

" OK look-If you read the actual statement from the commander at the Sheriff's dept it clearly spells out the cause of death-CO poisoning. The headline and the first paragraph are inaccurate.It was the boat owners who left their boats running with swimmers' behind them who caused the greatest danger that day. "

TheMrs wrote on Sep 17, 2007 12:52 PM:

" The paper stated that the mother had not seen her for at least 30 minutes to an HOUR before she was noticed missing...I still do not understand how this can be??? Who takes their children to a dark, merky lake, but doesn't watch them like a hawk? Did the paper get it wrong? "

Mom2 wrote on Sep 17, 2007 5:14 PM:

" This is one brutal blog. I have a 14 year old that leads a challenged life. I suspect Erin has had her challenges too. There are ways kids get around parents and Erin definately was doing something her Mom was not aware of. Kids have fun they act crazy and .17 for Erin might not have exihibited itself as being "drunk". Plus, I'm not a scientist, but all kinds of possibilities exhist for elevating the level of alcohol in her blood. So, that aside. She was out having fun, staying out of reach of Mom. Probably acting a bit cocky, like my daughter does when she is around friends. This is a sad situation to have happen, but it could have happened to my daughter. They take risks all the time without regard to what could happen. When I was young I went up to the bridge and hung out. I never realized that the boat engines could cause a problem. This is an unfortunate thing that happened. There are so many "If onlys" we could ask. The thing that hurts the most for me and why I hurt for this girl's family is that both Erin and her mother are subjected to public opinion. Shame on all of you on this board who made all of those quick judgements and those of you who have zero compassion. Many of you asked questions that any police or sheriff would ask, so why do you think your voice would make a difference. The speculation many of you have made about the Mother is appalling! I feel sorry for this family and their loss. "

NVGal wrote on Sep 18, 2007 4:18 PM:

" The AMA states that impairment begins at .04 BAC. Erin's BAC (as the paper states) was .17. Estimating that she weighed 110 lbs, she would have had to consume the equivelent of 5 12 oz beers in 2 hours or 6 1oz shots in 2 hours. For me, an average women, I would have to consume almost 2 bottles of wine in 2 hours to get to .17. I would not be able to function, me a grown woman, with a .17 BAC. I doubt that Erin was able to function at age 13 with a .17 BAC. She was probably slurring her words and stumbling around. I don't know what happened here, but if anyone thinks that kids drinking is harmless, and thats what kids do, please rethink this. "

whatashame wrote on Sep 19, 2007 8:24 AM:

" I am putting together a memorial for Erin's last weekend up at lake and would really appreciate any stories or pics that you might have of her last moments alive. thank you so much. "

judy6231 wrote on Sep 19, 2007 3:39 PM:

" "whatashame" what kind of memorial are trying to put together? My daughter has pictures of Erin. She doesn't have any of that weekend though. To those of you that are quick to criticize her Mom. I certainly hope that none of you ever have to go through what she is going through. Don't you think she is already blaming herself? Wouldn't you be? Teenagers are very resourceful when they decide they want something. There could have been an army of cops there and they would have found a way. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!!! "

yamamama wrote on Sep 20, 2007 9:13 AM:

" What happened to this family is so horrific that people can't or don't want to believe that this could happen to them. So they pin the blame on someone. If they can find blame, they can convince themselves that they wouldn't have allowed this to happen to their family; they need to believe that they can always protect their children from harm. I can understand that. But sometimes really bad things happen no matter what you do. My mother was a loving, attentive mother. But when I young teenager, I used to sneak booze and she didn't have a clue. It wasn't her fault -- I was clever and sneaky and I wanted to drink and impress my friends. It was stupid, but my family was lucky in that we came through that period relatively unscathed. We need to lighten up on the blame game and show some compassion. Feeling better about ourselves at someone else's expense isn't right. "

Berryessa Mom wrote on Sep 20, 2007 11:55 AM:

" Clearly, the death of Erin was preventible. As parents we buckle-up our children in cars and make them wear helmets while riding bicycles. As a parent or guardian we must just do that, "Gaurd" and Parent". If the threat of co2 or drowning maybe a factor the parent must step-up to the plate and take actions to prevent harm to a child. If a child dose not want to wear a life jacket because it's not cool, clearly that parent must inforce the saftey issue. With no-doubt I feel Erin's mom loved her daughter very much and must be devested and feels guilty for not being a responisble parent that day. On one hand I feel Erin's mom should be criminaly prosecuted and on the other I think she will mentaly suffer enough the rest of her life. What a sad memory one must carry of their own childs last breaths. My heart go's out to the people, Erin left behind to deal with such a tragedy . "

judy6231 wrote on Sep 20, 2007 12:19 PM:

" yamamama. You are so correct. Thank you for being compassionate and realistic. Every parent wants to believe that there teenagers aren't going to do the same stupid things they did when they were young. The fact is that teenagers have been sneaking alcohol for many generations. I think parents need to pull off their blindfolds. Teenagers make bad choices. That is part of life and even though life on life's terms sucks at times. It is still life. If you people think for one minute your child would never....... Well, then you are one's I feel sorry for. Either you were a perfect angel when you were growing up or you have some kind of mental block that allows you to pretend that you never did stupid things. Pull the wool of your eyes. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT OR A PERFECT CHILD. We should be taking this time to draw closer to our own children. This horrible, painful, incident happened so other people could learn from it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND AND START PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES. Please have some sympathy for this wonderful MOM that lost her child. "

opiniagirl wrote on Sep 21, 2007 10:21 AM:

" I'm so sick of "you can't watch your kids all the time" blah, blah, blah. It is possible to be such a proactive parent that you know exactly when, who, where, what, & how until your child shows the maturity to make wise choices...if they never show the maturity to make wise choices, continue to know or seek professional help. When they mess up you don't say - "Well what more can I do” or” there's nothing I could have done” or my favorite….”they’re just out of control!" Give me a break! Control your kids or find someone who can. You just may save their lives or the life of their future victims. As far as I can gather Erin was troubled at least somewhat. If my teen was even troubled I would never ever take her to a place like that lake. It's like taking an alcoholic into a bar. Parents wake up and be responsible for your childs behavior. I have raised and am raising another teenager; I am involved in EVERYTHING they do; controlling them in the younger years guiding them in the later years; whether they like it or not. Young teenagers are medically INCAPABLE of predicting the consequences of their behavior. Protect your kids until their old enough to protect themselves! It's your job to know what's going on with your kids and if you are incapable, find someone who can. Any one of the 3 things that Erin was exposed to that day could have killed her, alcohol, carbon monoxide, swimming beyond the swim barrier with no life jacket. Clearly, the combination of the 3 was highly dangerous. Mom didn't know????? Mom doesn't have the right not to know. Besides, eyewitnesses said she did know. "

mytwocents wrote on Sep 26, 2007 9:36 AM:

" Control is an illusion.I've known many very strict parents who's kids did all the same things as others,unfortunately they just become more underground and sneaky. Communication is much more effective than an iron hand. "

opiniagirl wrote on Sep 26, 2007 1:46 PM:

" The golden rule of parenting...Rules without relationships equal rebellion! Control is not an illusion if it is balanced with respect and consideration. A truly obedient and responsive teenager will not view your actions as “controlling” but will see them as “necessary protection” if you have the established relationship necessary to be a strict parent. It is not impossible or an illusion. Don't underestimate a teenager’s ability to respond correctly to proactive parenting. The “ because I said so” approach with no explanation or request for the childs opinion is an illusion of control…but the “this is the way it is..I’ll explain my reasoning and it’s not up for negotiation” type of control is necessary and absolute. If your child has the ability to negotiate with you after a final decision is made…then there is no established leader in the home. Good parents take into account their Childs perspective; make a wise decision and INFORM their children of that decision after it’s made. A child brought up correctly will respect that decision. Proactive parents will also do whatever they can to prevent their children from being exposed to dangerous circumstances, places and friendships while the child is still at an impressionable maturity level. "

ken's little sister wrote on Dec 5, 2007 6:18 AM:

" Alcohol or not, CARBON MONOXIDE is deadly. It has no boundry, no age limits, it takes the young & the old alike, it does not care if your sober or not, it KILLS. I lost my only brother to CO. He was a healty 42 y/o man. His name is Ken. Skip was 62 and died of CO. Megan was 7. Logan 8, Dillon 11, Sheri 14, Mark 24. The list goes on & on. Do not blame a parent, blame an industry that does not educate. Stop blaming a Mother, and help her, her loss far outweights your comments of Erin drinking. The fact is CARBON MONOXIDE killed her, not the alcohol. Ken's little sister "

tanaynay23 wrote on Jan 25, 2008 3:23 PM:

" Erin's accident was awful. But that's all it was, was an accident. Her mother is not to blame, nor is anyone who was there today. Accidents happen all the time. Some preventable, some not so much. So, don't go blaming her mother. I knew Erin when she was younger. Along with her mother and her sister. they were a very happy, close family. And they do not deserve this criticism that they are receiving from most of you people.Erin's mom wouldn't have given her alcohol. She got it just like every other teenager does, sneak it. Those of you parents ought to know that your teens aren't little saints. Even when you ask, they will deny. They have snuck alcohol some how. "

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