Terms of engagement: Put a French wine lover in a room with a California wine lover and tell them to talk about Champagne and they will soon be at each other’s taste buds, arguing that Champagne and California sparkling wine cannot be compared, contrasted or even mentioned in the same breath. Let’s burst their bubbles — the differences between excellent French Champagnes and excellent California sparkling wines are so slight that few wine experts can tell the differences in a blind tasting of several wines on the table.

No surprise. Both countries use the same excellent grape varieties, much the same traditional methods, the same superb technology and talented winemakers. Please note the word excellent; the bulk-processed stuff made with inferior grapes is dreadful. One fact all agree on — whatever they call the excellent effervescent wine that sparkles in bright crystal glasses is the essence of what makes an ordinary party outstanding and what makes an outstanding party memorable.

The good stuff never fails to impress and be enjoyed. Serve it at a dinner party and it gets the celebratory mood off to a great start. Most people always request it if proffered and it is many times more festive than a glass of still wine — sorry, chardonnay lovers.

Why? Because, when we drink Champagne (let’s call it that for efficiency), we become one with royalty, romance, tradition, seduction, myth, celebrity and hedonism. Madame de Pompadour, maitresse-en-titre to Louis XV, believed that Champagne was the only thing a beautiful woman should drink. That’s all she sipped. And when she sipped it, the French court followed. Champagne became, and still is, the beverage of royalty.

Champagne choices: The French, more or less, “invented” Champagne, or maybe the Brits did, but for sure the English gentry picked up on it when it was introduced to England in 1662. There are several kinds of Champagne by degree of dryness — Extra Brut, way too acidic for most tastes; Brut, which is dry enough; and Extra Dry, which has a very slight touch of sweetness, a good style for an aperitif but, because of snobbism, this style of wine is often denigrated. There are sweeter Champagnes, like demi-sec, hard to find, but nice with dessert.

There are also variants in terms of grape variety. Champagne is made from chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier, usually all three. However, there are Champagnes made from chardonnay only (Blanc de Blancs) lighter in style, or pinot noir only (Blanc de Noirs), richer in style. Rosé Champagnes are mostly pinot noir and many Champagne lovers admire this richer, rounder style. My favorite sparkling wine is a California bottling, Roederer Estate Blanc de Noir, and favorite Rosé Champagne is Moet & Chandon’s Cuvee Dom Perignon Rosé, rare and expensive ($200). Rosé wines are wonderful with any kind of food. The wine is also extra festive with its pinkish color. Excellent choices are the rosés of Schramsberg, Veuve Clicquot and Charles Heidsieck.

The brands: There are many brands in the market and all the top names are excellent, so it is your pleasant task to find one that pleases your taste, budget and your mindset. There are 24 Grande Marque houses, the most famous ones are: Ayala, Billecart-Salmon, Bollinger, Dom Perignon, Krug, Lanson, Laurent-Perrier, Moet et Chandon, G.H. Mumm, Piper Heidsieck, Pol Roger, Louis Roederer, Tattinger and Veuve Clicquot-Ponsardin. Perrier-Jouet and Salon are superb; Krug is very distinctive. There are many fine, small houses.

In California among excellent brands of sparkling wines, seek out Roederer Estate, Gloria Ferrer Carneros Cuvee, Schramsberg, Chandon Etoile Brut, Korbel, Wente, Iron Horse, “J” Brut, and Mumm Napa Brut Prestige. For large parties, consider a fine Italian Prosecco, especially from Zardetto. Point is, pick any of the above and serve it with pride. top of the line Champagne (Tete de Cuvee) starts at about $100; an excellent non-vintage Champagne is around $30 to $50; a great California sparkling wine from $15 to $40 and Prosecco slightly over $10. Prices vary widely.

The bottles: You have seen huge Champagne bottles in displays, but for practical purposes, there are three — half bottles that serve two; standard bottles, .75 liters, that serve about five glasses and a magnum, or double bottle, that serves about 10-12 glasses. The bottle brigade includes a Jereboam that is the equivalent of six bottles. Then there is a Methuselah (eight bottles), a Salmanazar (12 bottles), a Balthazar (16 bottles) and for laughs and a hernia, there is the Nebuchadnezzar (20 bottles), named after an ancient Chaldean king, Nabu-kudurri-usur. Waiter, let’s have one of those and bring 100 glasses!

The glasses: One you buy your wine, you will need some proper Champagne glasses. There are basically three shapes. A thin flute, which tapers slightly inward at the top. Then, the stylish tulip shape, which flares a little outward at the top. Champagne connoisseurs prefer these two. Finally there is the cup-shaped glass, used in the Jazz Age and in Fred Astaire movies, out of favor by all Champagne connoisseurs. That said, my nose gets caught in the opening of a small diameter flute.

  The big chill: Champagne needs to be cold. About 45 degrees is right; you can achieve this temperature by placing the bottle in the fridge for two hours, or put it deeply into an ice bucket and water for 20-30 minutes. Don’t put it in the freezer unless you like picking up frozen glass shards.

  Open sesame: You may have seen someone adept with a saber, snapping out the cork with an upward slicing move. Do not try this at home unless your father is Zorro. Opening up a bottle of Champagne takes a little practice. Also, be careful — there is a lot of pressure behind that cork. Place the bottle on a sturdy surface. Start by cutting the thin metal hood just under the wire that holds the cork. Take your time. Next, put your thumb over the cork with one hand and with the other, loosen the wire cage that holds the cork with a counter-clockwise twist. Pick up bottle. Point the bottle away from you, anyone else and the picture window, hold on to the cork with one hand, thumb on top, and gently turn the bottle at a 45 degree angle, in one direction, twisting the bottle, not the cork. If the cork is stuck tight, go back into the kitchen and try to prod it up with your thumbs, mumbling French curses. If you plan to open more than five bottles of Champagne in your lifetime, buy Champagne pliers.

  Pour your art out: A little trick in pouring. Pour a bit in each glass first, let the froth subside, then fill the glass halfway and let the good times roil. Look at those tiny bubbles — 50 million in a standard bottle. Don’t cover the bottle with a towel. People, especially wine lovers, want to know what they are drinking and you have nothing to hide.

  Toast: By now, your friends will be drooling for a taste. A toast is in order; keep it simple. My favorite: “Here’s Champagne for our real friends, and a real pain for sham friends.”

  Winston Churchill loved Champagne and especially Pol Roger. This famous house returned the compliment by naming its top of the line (Tete de Cuvee) Champagne Winston Churchill Brut. Tsar Alexander II loved things French and purchased all the production of Louis Roederer Cristal. Now you can purchase it. It comes in a clear bottle wrapped in yellow cellophane with a gold label and it costs a lot of green — around $180 worth. Prince Charles served Bollinger at his wedding; Madonna and Mick Jagger like Cristal. Jack Nicholson prefers Veuve Clicquot. Mike Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones like Pierre Jouet Grand Brut Wedding Cuvee. The great English economist John Maynard Keynes said, “My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink more Champagne.”

 Churchill may have said it best, “I drink Champagne to celebrate a victory and I console myself with Champagne in defeat.” Now, let’s pop some.

Ed Schwartz is the wine editor of The Nob Hill Gazette, a lifestyle magazine in the Bay Area.