A couple of weeks ago I gave an organizing talk to a wonderful Rotary group in Napa.

One gentleman explained to me how difficult it was for him to let go of things even though he clearly no longer needed the item. He said the purging process is what kept him from organizing his things for many years. For him, there’s a certain grieving process that goes along with purging.

People often trivialize organizing. They don’t take organizing seriously until the lack of it becomes a problem. The gentleman from the Rotary group also mentioned that it was important for him to set a healthy example of cleanliness and organization for his children to follow. He didn’t receive such guidance from his parents, and for that reason alone, he is now highly motivated get a handle on his organizing skills for himself, his family and daily comfort of living.

According to the Random House dictionary, grieving is, “to feel grief or great sorrow, to distress mentally.” When you part with any of your things, whether they don’t work or no longer fit, it can be a bit depressing. The purging process is the first step in getting organized and many people just stop there. Very few plow ahead and start the actual organizing process as they are paralyzed and unable to move forward

When you start the purging process, be good to yourself. Don’t work too quickly if you see yourself being held back time and time again. Create a “sad” box and during the time you spend getting organized you can put things in that box that you’re having trouble letting go of. At the end of the session, when you see that the box is getting full, it may be easier to get rid of some more items. 

A few things to remember: First, if anything you own doesn’t make you feel good for whatever reason — a gift that a friend gave you that you are no longer friends with, or an item you received as a gift that you never liked or clothing that’s too small — please, let it go. You simply don’t need things around you that bring you down. Don’t allow the bad energy to remain in your living space.

Second, if an item is either broken, then toss it. Chances are you won’t get around to fixing those items. Third, ask for help. If this is the step that is really tripping you up, reach out.

Last, once people purge and finally make those decisions to get rid of things, sometimes those purged items sprout legs and walk right back into your space. Be careful of this. Once you have been courageous enough to let things go, have a donation truck come to your home as soon as possible to take them away. Or better yet, you take it to some organization that really pulls at your heart strings and give it to them later that day. The main point is that you need to get the purged items out of your home or office as soon as possible.

Organizing can be physically and mentally challenging. Be kind to yourself, start small, and you will come to realize that you are not your things. Your life is so much bigger than that. In time you will create a life that gives you freedom, space and, above all, peace.

Lana Nakone is the author of “Organizing for Your Brain Type” and “Every Child Has a Thinking Style.” Her Web site is www.organizedworld.com. She can be reached by e-mail or by calling 524-9896.