Napan Sheila Molles was a parent long before she gave birth to her 3-year-old son, Steven. Molles met her stepson, Scott, when he was just 13 months old. Scott, now 11, has been Molles’ stepson for a decade.

Half of American children under the age of 13 live with a biological parent and a stepparent, according to a the Stepfamily Foundation, a nonprofit advocacy group based in New York. In addition, the foundation’s Web site states half of all women “are likely to live in a stepfamily relationship, when we include living-together families in our definition.”

Molles, married to Kelly, her husband of 10 years, is one of these women. She works as a counselor for the Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation in Vacaville.

Scott, a student at El Centro Elementary School, spends half of his time at the Molles’ household and the remainder of his time with his mother. While some stepparents don’t see eye to eye with their spouse’s ex, Molles said she doesn’t argue with or challenge Scott’s mother. Along with Scott’s father, the three adults co-parent successfully, she said.

Perhaps in part because of such cooperative co-parenting, Scott is a straight-A student who participates in several extracurricular activities, such as Little League, guitar lessons, fishing and dirt bike riding.

Molles said she “fell in love with Scott” when he was a baby, adding she is grateful there is no bickering among the parents — a problem in some stepfamilies which doesn’t help youngsters.

“I would lay my life down for Scott, just like for my biological son. ... I think people forget what the issue should be — the child,” she said.

‘Equal opportunity discipline’

Bike rides, fishing escapades, trips to Marine World, Little League games and family dinners are among the common activities for Sheila, Scott, Kelly and Steven. Molles said she does things that biological mothers also do, such as taking Scott to the doctor, dentist and orthodontist.

In spite of busy family schedules, both love and discipline are constants in the Molles’ home. Molles, 40, said she is equally involved in disciplinary issues with her husband. “Punishments are carried out simultaneously at both houses. There’s no bouncing back and forth when you don’t like the punishment. ... It’s equal opportunity discipline here,” she said, adding that Scott doesn’t get into trouble often.

Molles said her stepson has two homes and Scott is “not a visitor” in the Molles household. He has clothes, toys and personal items at both his father’s and his mother’s homes.

Since he was a toddler, Scott has been an important part of Molles’ day-to-day life.

Molles feels more intimacy with her biological son, she said, but loves and treats the boys equally.

“The best thing about being a stepparent is I got to have two kids and I only got pregnant once,” she joked. “I get to love another kid and experience his joys and accomplishments. The benefit (of stepparenting) is Scott.”

Scott said because he’s known Molles for most of his life, he can’t picture what life would be like without her. “Sheila takes me to the movies and goes to my Little League games and BMX races.”

With the demands of work, home and extracurricular activities, a challenge Molles said she faces as a stepmother is family scheduling. The family coordinates activities around the time Scott will be with them. Holidays are busy.

Molles also said “having all of the responsibilities and none of the rights” of a biological parent can be frustrating.

The Molles live in the same city as Scott’s mother, which benefits Scott, they said. The couple is pleased that Scott has regular access to all three parental figures.

Kelly Molles, owner of Napa’s Merry Maids franchise, said Sheila helped keep the family close. Kelly and Sheila were living near Tracy when she worked in that area, but she sought a transfer to the Vacaville facility so Scott and his dad could be closer.

The Molles family has lived in Napa for about three years. Sheila Molles joins Scott’s mother and father for Scott’s school events, Christmas celebrations and birthday parties. Molles said she knows the cooperative relationship that she and her husband share with Scott’s mom is not common. “We are truly blessed,” Kelly Molles said.

‘Like my real dad’

Napa resident Glenn Titolo, 37, also is helping to raise a child who is not his biological son. His stepson, Dominic, 7, is a student at Alta Heights Elementary School. Dominic spends most of his time with his stepfather and biological mother, Stephani Titolo, 38, at their southeast Napa home.

Titolo said being a stepparent has helped him to become more patient and understanding.

Glenn and Stephani Titolo met five years ago and Titolo has been a stepfather to Dominic for two years. Titolo met his stepson when he was just 18 months old and said he helps Dominic with homework and plays, camps and reads with him. They also do Cub Scout activities together and often enjoy swimming or a game of two-square.

Although the family watches movies, Titolo said, the television usually remains off, providing time for more hands-on activities.

Titolo is a sales manager at Infineon raceway in Sonoma and his wife, Stephani teaches weight lifting, walking, spinning and special needs physical education classes at Napa Valley College.

Titolo said the best part of being a stepparent is being involved in Dominic’s life while watching him grow up.

Warm feelings are mutual between stepson and stepdad. “Glenn is my best friend. ... He acts like my real dad and I love him like he’s my real dad and he plays like my real dad,” Dominic said.

Like the Molles family, the Titolos are advocates of consistency and solid parenting. Stephani Titolo said the three sit down to dinner each night and the couple presents “a united front” when it comes to disciplinary issues.

“It’s the highlight of my day, coming home to these two,” Glenn Titolo said.

The family will welcome a new son or daughter in the fall; the Titolos are expecting a child in September.