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The Newsroom Diet
Saturday, April 21, 2007
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People come up to me on the street and ask how I manage to maintain my figure.

I tell them the key is the Newsroom Diet, that special combination of idleness and nutrient-free office cuisine that fuels some of the finest print journalists in this land.
We editors are in especially good position to take advantage of the Newsroom Diet. Unlike reporters and photographers, who have to go to events such as soccer games and city council meetings and wildfires, editors are at our desks a great deal of the time.

This gives us the dual advantage of avoiding exercise and being close to whatever baked goods are on the scene.
Every Wednesday, Weekly Calistogan Editor John Waters Jr. brings a box of Butter Cream donuts to the Register newsroom, where the finishing touches are put on that week's edition of the Calistogan.

This has made Waters a popular figure at the Register. The migration to the south side of the room, where Waters sets his batter fried, glazed and iced harvest next to fellow Calistogan team-member John Montgomery, is as predictable as the swallows' return to Capistrano.
We also have a monthly cookie day to entice staffers to meetings where we discuss topics ranging from 401(k) plans to controversies such as whether apostrophes should accompany words such as Albertsons, Vallerga's and Mervyns.

Wine and arts writer L. Pierce Carson occasionally tries out his home recipes on us, and lean cuisine it is not. While the recent bread pudding sample was very good, the quantity of rum within gave a whole new definition to the word "proofreading."

Try "80 proof reading."

One member of the sports team appears to have been locked out of the kitchen at home lately, as he has been importing a lot of pizza.

Holidays, of course, are peak periods for Newsroom Dieters. Around Easter, business reporter Jennifer Huffman kindly kept the blood sugar flowing with chocolate eggs and cookies, and a colleague even brought a box of chocolate-covered cherry cordials -- rejects from the office of his spouse.

But here's the most definitive sign of our spot in the food chain: Other Register departments routinely drop off their leftovers in the newsroom, confident that the sun will not rise again on their remaining muffins or half-finished deli trays. Indeed, their largesse is a staple of the Newsroom Diet.

Of course, we have our outliers. Sportswriter Erin Lawley brings a bag of baby carrots to work, helping her vision but doing nothing for her popularity at grazing time. Kevin Courtney, as thin as a blade of grass, usually clutches fresh fruit in his hands when we walks in to the office.

Staff writer Natalie "Scoop" Hoffman spearheads a walking club, a roving gang that takes to the streets for 20 minutes or so during lunch.

While we commend her efforts, it is clear that she will never be able to meet the demands, or reap the rewards, of the Newsroom Diet.
2 comment(s)

Connie wrote on Apr 16, 2007 3:01 AM:

" On the one hand, I'm entertained by this playful, provocative Napa Valley Register op ed piece about the nutrient-lacking "Newsroom Diet," which ran on Sun., April 15, 2007. While I found the column amusing, I also found it rather sad to think about the kinds of sugary, nutrient-deficient foods that reporters, editors and columnists often consume at newsrooms across America. Alas, I'm quite familiar with this "special combination of idleness and nutrient-free office cuisine that fuels some of the finest print journalists in this land." You see, I've been there. Indeed, this op ed piece brings back many memories. Oh goodness, I well remember the candies, cookies, cakes and pizza that I used to consume while working as a staff reporter/columnist or reporting intern at several different newsrooms in various states. But nowadays, I'm much more nutrition savvy and health minded. Today, I would never ever put into my mouth the sugary foods that I once used to eagerly over-consume. (Of course, it took being besieged by symptoms such as brain fog, fatigue and heart palpitations to motivate me to quit sugar and eat better.) I'm actually writing to offer some encouragement and inspiration to the writer of this column and to your other sugar-focused staffers. If you start to eat higher quality foods, the benefits are tremendous. Take me, for instance. Because I quit sugar and refined carbs and eat more healthily now, I can concentrate better and for longer periods of time; I have more consistent energy levels; I'm much happier and more cheerful; and I just feel better all around. (In fact, all of my dreaded symptoms disappeared after kicking sugar and refined carbs.) It's obvious: At least a few of your Napa Valley Register reporters are like many journalists. They don't give much thought -- as I once didn't -- to the fact that what you eat not only affects your weight, but also your moods, concentration and energy levels -- all vitally important for a journalist frequently faced with pressing deadlines. I'd be happy to enlighten your staffers to the many health hazards, as well as emotional ramifications, that can come from over-consuming sugary, fatty foods. In fact, I'd be happy to give the writer of this op ed piece and a couple of other staffers complimentary copies of my book SUGAR SHOCK! (Berkley Books, 2007). My goal would be to wake up your staffers to the dangers of eating sugary foods and to offer tips and tactics to help them break free. (Look for copies of my book to come in the mail.) By the way, I posted some comments about "The Newsroom Diet" column on my SUGAR SHOCK! Blog. All the best to your staff. I do hope that they take my words to heart. While I can appreciate the entertainment value of laughing at how badly you eat, consuming these foods can make your life miserable. But I bring your staffers and readers hope, because eating high-quality foods can banish or cut back on depression, mood swings, excess weight, anxiety, etc. Quitting those culprit carbs, losing weight and exercising may even prevent insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, cancer and heart disease. Oh, and you'll like this one added benefit. Eating better may even boost your libido. Sincerely, Connie Author, SUGAR SHOCK! (Berkley Books, 2007) Creator, SUGAR SHOCK! Blog "

Connie (again) wrote on Apr 16, 2007 3:04 AM:

" I just saw that this piece was not un-bylined, as I had previously thought. So if you run my item (just posted), I'd appreciate your making that minor change and adding Bill Kisliuk's name. Thank you. "

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