People come up to me on the street and ask how I manage to maintain my figure.
I tell them the key is the Newsroom Diet, that special combination of idleness and nutrient-free office cuisine that fuels some of the finest print journalists in this land.
We editors are in especially good position to take advantage of the Newsroom Diet. Unlike reporters and photographers, who have to go to events such as soccer games and city council meetings and wildfires, editors are at our desks a great deal of the time.
This gives us the dual advantage of avoiding exercise and being close to whatever baked goods are on the scene.
Every Wednesday, Weekly Calistogan Editor John Waters Jr. brings a box of Butter Cream donuts to the Register newsroom, where the finishing touches are put on that week's edition of the Calistogan.
This has made Waters a popular figure at the Register. The migration to the south side of the room, where Waters sets his batter fried, glazed and iced harvest next to fellow Calistogan team-member John Montgomery, is as predictable as the swallows' return to Capistrano.
We also have a monthly cookie day to entice staffers to meetings where we discuss topics ranging from 401(k) plans to controversies such as whether apostrophes should accompany words such as Albertsons, Vallerga's and Mervyns.
Wine and arts writer L. Pierce Carson occasionally tries out his home recipes on us, and lean cuisine it is not. While the recent bread pudding sample was very good, the quantity of rum within gave a whole new definition to the word "proofreading."
Try "80 proof reading."
One member of the sports team appears to have been locked out of the kitchen at home lately, as he has been importing a lot of pizza.
Holidays, of course, are peak periods for Newsroom Dieters. Around Easter, business reporter
Jennifer Huffman kindly kept the blood sugar flowing with chocolate eggs and cookies, and a colleague even brought a box of chocolate-covered cherry cordials -- rejects from the office of his spouse.
But here's the most definitive sign of our spot in the food chain: Other Register departments routinely drop off their leftovers in the newsroom, confident that the sun will not rise again on their remaining muffins or half-finished deli trays. Indeed, their largesse is a staple of the Newsroom Diet.
Of course, we have our outliers. Sportswriter Erin Lawley brings a bag of baby carrots to work, helping her vision but doing nothing for her popularity at grazing time. Kevin Courtney, as thin as a blade of grass, usually clutches fresh fruit in his hands when we walks in to the office.
Staff writer Natalie "Scoop" Hoffman spearheads a walking club, a roving gang that takes to the streets for 20 minutes or so during lunch.
While we commend her efforts, it is clear that she will never be able to meet the demands, or reap the rewards, of the Newsroom Diet.
Connie wrote on Apr 16, 2007 3:01 AM:
Connie (again) wrote on Apr 16, 2007 3:04 AM: