There’s an old expression that everything in a pig is used except the squeal. Now a similar comment might be made about wine.

Scientists in Australia have used bacteria from wine to make a new “fermented fabric,” according to an item on decanter.com. They were looking for alternatives to cotton, when they discovered that the rubbery cellulose layer that forms as a waste product when wine is made into vinegar could be made into a dress.

The cellulose was placed over an inflatable doll into the shape of a dress, and as the bacteria grew and bonded, the doll was deflated and removed, “leaving a ready-to-wear dress.”

Only one catch — the new fabric must be kept wet, because the cellulose fibers are like tissue paper when dry and are easily torn.

(Ladies — beware of any date who shows up with a blow dryer.)

Do wine awards have much meaning?

A major wine magazine sponsors an international awards competition each year, and in results just announced, acknowledged that 1,610 wines were entered — and 73 percent of them won an award. Of the 1,167 medals awarded, 10 double golds were given, along with 186 golds, 506 silvers and 465 bronzes.

The press release announcing the awards said, “Historically, gaining kudos at the competition has been tough to achieve because of its high standards of excellence.”

(Three-quarters of the entries win awards. Imagine how the winemakers whose wines didn’t win must feel.)

Banned license plate

A driver in Utah has been ordered to remove his license plate because it says “merlot,” and intoxicant words are banned from vanity plates, according to the Salt Lake City Tribune.

The driver, Glenn Eurick, has had the plate for 10 years, but the Utah Tax Commission recently received an anonymous complaint about it, which prompted a letter telling him to remove it. He said most people wonder if “merlot” is a family name or a foreign word, but once when he stopped for gas a man understood what it meant and asked if he used it because “cabernet sauvignon” had too many letters.

Eurick said if he loses his appeal, he’ll ask to have “no merlot” on the plate. “That way no one can say I‘m promoting anything alcoholic.”

(He said his car is the color of the wine, but the Tribune said if he tried to get Burgundy, that could cause a double problem — being both a wine region and an alcoholic beverage.)

Wine pun

Labels keep getting cuter all the time. USA Today’s wine writer Jerry Shriver reports that a Chilean wine is named Cono Sur Chardonnay.

(Say it fast and you’ll get the pun.)

Record crop in Oregon

Winegrape production in Oregon reached an all-time high last year with 34,400 tons harvested, a 38 percent increase over the previous year, according to dailytidings.com, which attributed the increase to more producing vines and high yields.

Most of the state’s 15,600 acres is in two varietals — pinot noir, with 8,884 acres, and pinot gris with 2,188 acres.

“Sideways” had something to do with Oregon’s success. “In 2002-2003 you couldn’t give away bulk pinot noir,” said one winemaker. “Then the movie came out and gave all this attention to pinot noir.”

Rioja wines set record

Spanish wines are gaining popularity in the U.S., and that’s one of the reasons sales of wines from Rioja set an all-time high last year, with nearly 69 million gallons sold.

The U.S. became the third largest importer of Rioja wines, but, more important to the producers there, brand awareness in the U.S. rose to 31 percent.

(The rain in Spain caused no pain to growers there.)

Michelin Guide on hot seat

When the Michelin Guide introduced its Bay Area version recently, critics said its criteria didn’t capture the cuisine of the area, and one said, “The inspectors don’t get the Bay Area food scene.” Now Michelin is under fire because the guide is accused of doing very little for wine lovers.

A restaurant reviewer for decanter.com said he felt that “Michelin does not recognize brilliantly-thought out and reasonably-priced wine lists,” and said he felt that Michelin arbitrarily awards its symbols of a glass (signifying wines by the glass) and a bunch of grapes to show a particularly interesting wine list.

(It’s ironic that the French-based Michelin Guide should give short shrift to wine, since wine plays such a major role in that country.)

Tower of wine

A Houston, Texas, restaurant has a rather unusual wine cellar — a 15-foot high glass-walled tower in the center of the restaurant, stretching from floor to ceiling. The wait staff uses 10-foot ladders to reach the wines at the top.

Perry’s Steakhouse & Grille makes wine storage a visual feature, said an item on emediawire.com. And the general manager of the restaurant said it definitely draws attention to the wine selection, adding, “I think it contributes to wine sales.”

(Hopefully, the prices aren’t as high as the wines.)

Quote of the day

As baseball season approaches, this one seems most appropriate: “Drink a little wine before dinner and you’ll play for years.” — Ty Cobb is reported to have told this to Stan Musial.