Ev Parker

I guess thousands of Napans watching television news and millions of folks all over the U.S. have recently seen the actions of an irate father who also happened to be an assistant coach of a youth football team here in California.

He'd just seen his 13-year-old son get blindsided after a play was over and driven to the ground by a kid on the opposing team, a "cheap shot" artist whom this father/coach wasn't going to tolerate. That's when dad "lost it," as they say.

The father, a tall man and ruggedly built, sprinted onto the field, tracked down his son's attacker and rammed the kid from behind, leveling the "cheap shot" artist and laying that kid low, dazed and flat on his back.

That scene had spectators and coaches on both sides of the field shaking their heads and wondering how anyone, even a dad, could lose control so completely.

That event played over and over on our television screens and got me to thinking of how I would have handled the situation if my grandsons Robbie or Phil had been blindsided by an opponent. My first action of course would be to see if Robbie or Phil was OK. Following that, I'd have waited until the game, which was nearly over, concluded. Then I'd have asked the coach of the opposing team if the kid on his team was just a "loose cannon" or if the boy's coach was teaching football out of the "Attila The Hun" playbook. We'd then take it from there.

That scene reminded me of a piece I read recently that ran in USA Today. In that story, Cal Ripken Jr., who retired recently from major league baseball with his all-time record of 2,632 consecutive games played, voiced his opinion about the state of youth sports today and a minority of coaches and parents who make what should be just a game into the search for the Holy Grail.

Cal, who now runs youth baseball camps, opined that the "win at all costs" attitude held by a small minority of coaches and worse yet, "too involved" parents, turns kids away from games that should be happy and lifelong experiences.

I can understand Cal Ripken's point of view because I've been there and never could understand a coach here and there and a few too deeply involved parents who egg kids on to become snarling tigers coached by roaring lions. That's not what any kids' game should be all about.

Ripken added that trying to make big leaguers out of 7- and 8-year-old kids is really getting in the way of a child's enjoyment of the sport. He believes we should allow our kids to learn without the negativity and the pressure that too often places a great deal of shame and self-doubt on our young athletes.

I thought back to my childhood days and now know how lucky we kids were then. Those were the years before organized kids' leagues were even on the drawing boards. We neighborhood kids would play baseball, football and basketball on sandlots and in public school gyms, with no crowds of parent onlookers and no coaches dressed in uniforms. In fact, we kids couldn't afford uniforms for ourselves, nor could our parents.

We'd play in hand-me-down clothes and the oldest kids would manage the teams, lay down flat stones for homeplate and the bases and somehow come up with taped-up baseballs and bats held together with screws. We'd play from morning to darkness every chance we could, and the beauty of it was that every kid played.

Today, things have changed and I wonder if it's for the better. All the kids wear uniforms, as do the adult coaches, who wear the same kids' caps and knickers down to their state-of-the-art spiked shoes. And the schedules of one or two games per week with kids splitting those games is in stark contrast to the seven days per week we 1930s to '50s kids used to enjoy. I often think that if we just allowed our kids to play ball on their own, they'd figure it out for themselves.

But, "over-coaching" and parental "over-involvement" is not restricted to just baseball and football. I've seen it at basketball games and, believe it or not, swimming meets, and at times it can be embarrassing for our kids. Some parents can be cruel and I've seen irate moms and dads at basketball games and swimming tournaments berate their kids for failing in front of hundreds of spectators. And that goes for a very few "hard nosed" coaches too.

So parents and coaches, I hope you step back one of these days and realize that in kids' sporting events, winning is nice, but losing isn't the end of the world. Your kids are trying the best they can and if they aren't trying, they shouldn't be pushed into competitive events in the first place; it just may not be their thing.

Let's not belittle our children for failing and let's not get on the umpires and referees who give of their time for our kids. And certainly let's not try to convince our kids that they are what they aren't. Let's just let the kids play and have some fun and maybe, just maybe, the violence and insults that occur too often these days at kids' games might one day be a thing of the past.

Ev Parker can be reached at evjenpar@mailbug.com or 224-9956.