Juxtaposing the experiences and opportunities available to my own near 18-year-old with those of the more than 4,000 near 18-year-olds preparing to "age out" or emancipate from California's foster care system this year provides a stark contrast.

Most importantly, my own child has a broad network of caring adults and peers that she can turn to for support or turn away from when she needs to exert her independence. She is connected to family, friends, teachers, counselors, and mentors. She knows that people will always be there for her.

The network is broad enough that if one person leaves her orbit, others are there to step in. Her college applications include a decent GPA; good test scores; several long-term "strong" extracurricular commitments; and paid work experience. She is also equipped with non-academic skills that will serve her well as an adult. She has a driver's license and is a good driver; can change a tire; can cook and clean; has managed a checking account; and can even put together modular furniture.

With all of those tools and resources, no one is expecting her to support herself upon high school graduation. She won't have to pay for her own living expenses, and if she did, there are people ready, willing and able to help her.

The disparity between her experience and that of my other children, those who are preparing to or have recently "aged out" of the foster care system is glaring. And they are my children as they are yours. Foster youth are removed from their homes for a variety of reasons, most frequently abuse or neglect. Tax dollars pay to support them and as such they become "our" children and it is incumbent upon us as responsible parents to see that they are afforded the same opportunities as our biological and/or adopted children.

For most of the near eighteen-year-olds growing up in foster care the reality is very different than that of my child. Forty five percent of foster youth "age out" without a high school Diploma or a GED. Only five percent of foster youth go on to college. Most have gone to multiple high schools, making it difficult to maintain a decent GPA or even take the courses they need to go to college. Many foster youth are unable to work for a variety of reasons, including multiple placement changes. Extra-curricular activities are rare in the lives of foster youth, with the exception of the County Independent Living Skills Program. These programs differ in content and quality from state to state and county to county. The majority of foster youth "age out" without knowing how to cook, clean, manage money and with no marketable employment skills. But most importantly they have no one to ask questions. Worse, they have no one to rely on when big issues arise. There is no soft place to land if they make a mistake along the way.

Yet they are expected at the age of 18 to go out on their own, find a living wage job, an apartment, furnish and pay for it, often with no job. Without the safety net of family and community small problems can upset the fragile balance, causing young lives to spiral out of control leading to dire consequences, like homelessness.

It is not surprising that 65 percent of foster youth are at risk of homelessness the day they "age out" or that 40 percent of the chronically homeless population report having spent some time in the foster care system when you read the above statistics.

Despite these dismal statistics there are glimmers of hope on the horizon. In October multiple bills were signed by the governor targeted at improving the transition out of foster care. Assemblywoman Karen Bass is chairing a "Select Committee" on Foster Care; one of the issues the committee is focusing on is emancipating foster youth. Multiple other efforts are underway in California and nationally, both to prepare and assist youth better though the transition from foster care and to decrease the numbers of youth emancipating by finding permanent connections for foster youth early on.

However, as "parents" it is critical for us to take responsibility as well. We must let our public officials and administration know that we hold them accountable for the outcomes of our foster children. That requires both a financial and emotional investment. Only then will we begin to see a reduction in the disparity between the experiences and opportunities of youth like my daughter and her peers and the over 4,000 foster youth that "age out" of care in California annually.

(Amy Freeman is the executive director of Alameda County Foster Youth Alliance)